Pros And Cons To A Metaverse Wedding

metaverse wedding

As soon as I felt the textured envelope and caught a glimpse of the calligraphy written on the outside, my chest sank.

Instantly, I began calculating two things. First and foremost, I wondered, “how much is this going to cost me?”

Comedian Jim Gaffigan once joked that the amount you give must be directly proportional to how nice the invitation is.

I was fairly certain that they’d hired a local artist to do the calligraphy. And the card stock seemed like it was made from a material more durable than my car.

My internal cash register began to clank, and I began to shudder as I began sweating dollars.

But my second thought was even worse: How much of my time was this going to take?

I mean, I knew the couple getting married and they’d joked about wanting to do a destination wedding. Or maybe they’d rent a cabin three hours north and have a massive party in the woods.

All of this weighed on my mind as I thought about how much time I’d lose to the celebration.

Don’t judge me for my cynical thoughts. You’ve had them, too.

That’s why the trend of metaverse weddings may be a blessing for you.

You may be one of those unicorns who gets goosebumps from feeling that expensive invitation paper between your fingertips. But if you’re not, it may be time to consider the potential value of metaverse weddings.

Pro: Meta Means More

Guest list fights between couples are a real thing. Aunt Edna will never know how much drama she brought into the newly budded union, but when “I do” turns to “I did,” that argument can make its way back onto the center stage.

“I didn’t want to invite her, Alan. She doesn’t even know our kids’ names.”

“Yeah, Jessica, but she used to take me to the candy store when I was a kid for my birthday, so I felt I owed it to her.”

“Well, I hope it was expensive candy, because she brought a date and made us change the whole seating configuration last-minute. That alone racked up another $100.”

“It was worth it. I need to remember what it’s like to have someone doing something sweet for me.”

Ouch. Hang in there, Alan.

If the happy couple had opted for the metaverse instead, they’d have found more seats available than they’d know what to do with.

India’s first metaverse wedding boasted thousands of attendees. Since metaverse attendance is digital, betrothed couples don’t have to worry about plus-ones—or plus-hundreds.

Better still, no one has to feed these freeloaders. Gone are the days when couples pulled out the calculator to determine if factoring in the expected gift was worth the invitation in the first place.

Did I mention that Aunt Edna just wrote you a poem and had it framed as her gift? What a sweetie.

Con: You’re on Mute, Reverend!

Thanks especially to the pandemic, most of us know what Zoom fatigue is. But probably the biggest disease to come out of 2020 aside from Covid-19 was mute button rage.

“Bob, come off mute.”

“Bob.”

“Can someone type in the chat that he’s on mute and none of us can hear him?”

“Andrea, are you calling him?”

“Andrea, can you come off mute, please.”

Since 2020, we’ve had to become more technologically nimble than ever before. And that’s fine. We need to be a little more flexible and more current with how to operate all this cool stuff.

But do you know what we can’t control?

Anyone else’s desire to be that adept—or that inept.

Nor can we control the tech ourselves, if we really think about it.

Do you want to let the most sacred day of your life be affected by your broadband speed? Do you want the meaningfulness of your ceremony determined by your officiant’s ability to keep his pet parrot asleep?

“We are gathered here today to—”

“CAW, CAW!”

Awww, looks like Freckles the Parrot already has some objections to your holy union, Alan and Jessica.

I’m joking… but I’m not. Unless you’re totally cool with tech-related risks, there’s quite a bit at stake.

Pro: Endless Customization

Let’s face it: if you’ve attended a wedding, you’ve kinda got the gist, right?

Uncomfortable seats. Screaming babies. Usually no A/C if they’re getting married in a traditional church.

Then there are the beach weddings, where you spend most of your time trying to avoid staring directly into the sun. Barn weddings are cool, proving they’ve stabled the actual animals elsewhere for the ceremony.

But you get the idea. Bride, Groom, aisle. Kiss. Yada yada yada.

With the metaverse, though, you could really get creative with the appearance of your venue and the intricacies of your ceremony.

The New York Times recently released an article where the bride of a metaverse wedding remarked how everything could be customized to her specifications–including her own avatar.

Didn’t get a chance to drop that beer-belly so you could button the tux? Don’t worry, Alan. The Metaverse will have you looking like Daniel Craig with just a couple clicks.

And Jessica, don’t worry at all about getting those hair highlights. They’re expensive, and they fade fast. Just pull up a color picker on your screen and optimize those glorious digital locks to whatever shade matches the dream you’ve had since you were a little girl.

Con: Meta Still Costs Money

You might be thinking that this may be free or very cheap.

Well, I would too. After all, I can customize my Zoom background to look like I’m on the beach. Or I can make it look like I’m broadcasting from across from the San Francisco bridge. And it’s free.

But don’t assume that’s the case in the metaverse. Turns out there are still some costs associated with your digital nuptials, and we aren’t even really sure how to track them.

Setting up the wedding itself may cost more than you’ve budgeted for. That same wedding from the New York Times piece had a price tag, but the couple received the wedding as a gift.

Had that not happened, they would’ve had to shell out $30,000 dollars for the same experience. The company responsible said without the customizations, they could have settled at $10,000.

“The good news, Alan and Jessica, is that you don’t have to have anyone clean up after your wedding. The bad news is that you owe us $30,000.”

“Jessica, why are you crying? Aunt Edna said she loved the song choices.”

That’s a hefty tag. As my last name doesn’t start with a “K” and end with “ardashian,” I’m sticking to my free Zoom background in the San Francisco Bay, thank you very much.

Tying the Virtual Knot… or Not Yet?

How about you? Are you ready to say Mazel Tov in the metaverse? Are you ready to dress your avatar in a Gucci suit while you sport gym shorts from the comfort of your home?

If the cost of a metaverse wedding is comparable to one in real life, is it worth going digital to avoid the real-world headaches?

Either way, the bar at home is open 24/7. Before you login, just make sure you’re stocked up on boxed wine (that’s the good stuff, you know).

Let’s raise a glass to the happy couple! And if we’re not stuck on mute, maybe they’ll even hear our toasts.

—————-

If you’re opposed to matrimony in the metaverse but you’re not against some virtual violence, maybe you should hop into the cage with the UFC’s new NFTs.

And if you’re looking for the perfect wedding guest list, maybe you might want to consider inviting some loved ones that have passed away. (Trust me—it’s a thing.)

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